Lamí fórum

od **JarynekZ** » úte 11. čer 2013 21:50:16

Tojetakyfakt...

od **Zidane** » ned 16. čer 2013 13:17:18

To znám

od **Zidane** » ned 16. čer 2013 13:18:00

od **Zidane** » úte 18. čer 2013 0:57:55

Hey, pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

I failed my biology test because I got the essay question completely wrong, which was about things commonly found in cells.
Apparently, "Niggers" wasn't the right answer.

od **Zidane** » pon 24. čer 2013 21:26:07

od **Zidane** » pon 24. čer 2013 21:48:38

od **Zidane** » úte 25. čer 2013 14:53:25

od **Zidane** » pon 01. črc 2013 14:36:27

A co na to dámy?

od **Zidane** » stř 03. črc 2013 12:57:15

Policajt zastaví vozidlo kdesi na východe:
- Pan vodič, pili ste niečo?
- Hej, ta zo dva piva i borovičku.
- Ste ochotný podrobiť sa dychovej skúške?
- Ta co, ty mi neveriš?

od **Zidane** » stř 03. črc 2013 13:06:37

od **Staga** » stř 03. črc 2013 18:03:27

Sákryš, samej Zidane tady... Invaze? ~

od **Liger** » stř 03. črc 2013 18:10:22

Myslíš na těch obrázcích?

od **Staga** » stř 03. črc 2013 18:52:37

Tam určitě taky

od **Araoth** » stř 03. črc 2013 20:59:15

Má asi spoustu volného času...

od **Staga** » čtv 04. črc 2013 3:24:58

Ten se dá využít o hodně líp než tím, že bude prolejzat net a házet sem hromadu "vtipů". I když můj čas to není, taky fakt...

od **DanDan** » čtv 04. črc 2013 20:12:07

od **Zidane** » pát 05. črc 2013 21:52:21

od **Zidane** » úte 09. črc 2013 1:35:33

Pro ukrutnou plachtovitost jen link:

http://www.imagehosting.cz/images/livingkkk.jpg

od **Araoth** » stř 10. črc 2013 12:23:23

od **Batrachus** » stř 10. črc 2013 13:26:52

Všimněte si, jak jsou některá slovíčka jiným fontem :lol:

od **Zidane** » čtv 11. črc 2013 4:33:28

Tak teď nevím...

"then stab him in his waist when his mother watches", znamená to, že si mám dát pozor na jakékoliv "akce" s dívkou či ženou ve svém vlastním obýváku, protože mám na lednici

tohle v modrém provedení, zbytek doufám nemusím vysvětlovat? A ano, maje 2+kk, měl bych mít strach, neboť mám lednici defakto v obýváku :vlna:

od **Liger** » čtv 11. črc 2013 9:42:14

To cituješ odkud? Já tam vidím něco jiného... Hlavně je to narážka na Game of Thrones, což jsem poznal i já, který to ještě neviděl. :vlna:

od **JarynekZ** » čtv 11. črc 2013 11:50:28

Jasně že je to asoif, já se v té větě o Lannisterech začal tlemit, protože mi bylo naprosto jasný, co bude další bod :vlna:

od **Zidane** » sob 13. črc 2013 0:37:08

od **Liger** » sob 13. črc 2013 0:41:44

To už bylo v Black Books.

od **Zidane** » čtv 18. črc 2013 0:06:00

První obrázek starý, ale s druhým to vidím prvně :lol:

od **Zidane** » pát 19. črc 2013 23:58:15

V Massachusetts nesmím zabít svou bývalou ženu... takže vražda kohokoliv jiného tam je zřejmě legální. Protože kdyby byla proti zákonu vražda jako taková, proč pak to upřesnění? :lol:

Ale ono to má jednoduché vysvětlení... Amerika. Kde jinde by taky mohli vymyslet, že se nesmí jíst zmrzlina vidličkou? :roll:

od **Liger** » sob 20. črc 2013 0:20:40

No, viz topic "Vaše citace a hlášky" - bůhví jak to je...

od **Zidane** » pon 22. črc 2013 0:47:53

What's the formula for holy water?

H2OMG!

od **Zidane** » úte 06. srp 2013 23:47:31

od **Zidane** » úte 06. srp 2013 23:50:14

od **Zidane** » stř 07. srp 2013 0:03:49

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It’s a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, ‘Pierre, kiss me!’
Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie’s lips.
‘What are you doing, Pierre ?’ says the startled Marie.
‘I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!’
She smiles and they start kissing.
Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, ‘Pierre, kiss me lower.’
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts.
‘Pierre! What are you doing now?’ asks the bewildered Marie.
‘I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!’
She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude: and things really steam up.
Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, ‘Pierre, kiss me much lower!’
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it in her lap.
He then strikes a match and lights the cognac on fire.
Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, ‘PIERRE , WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?’
Our ‘hero’ stands and says defiantly,
‘I am Pierre, the French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!’

od **Zidane** » stř 07. srp 2013 0:27:13

od **Johny007** » stř 07. srp 2013 7:06:32

Tak kdyby byl schopen mačkat čudlíky po jednom, tak v nekonečném čase opravdu napíše všechny existující i neexistující knihy na světě, nebo aspoň jejich překlady do všech jazyků užívajících latinku.... :-D

od **SteGo_Saur_CZ** » čtv 08. srp 2013 9:51:07

od **Zidane** » pon 19. srp 2013 2:24:56

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores.
Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

od **Zidane** » čtv 22. srp 2013 20:10:03

Pre mojoho oca som sklamanim a nikda na mne nebul skutočne hrdi. Spominam, raz kejdz som ešči male dzecko še me ocec spital: -Sinu keľo maš roki? -Pejc., odpovedzel som. Nato mi muj ocec povedzel: -Ta ja kejdz som bul v tvojom veku ta už som mal šesc.

od **Liger** » čtv 22. srp 2013 21:19:06

A vtipné to má být kvůli tomu jazyku v jakém je to psané? Protože v normální češtině by to byl hodně slabý vtip... ~

od **Zidane** » ned 25. srp 2013 7:47:02

During the recent royal wedding, the millions around the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform that included the famous British "red coat."

Many people have asked, "Why did the British wear red coats in battle?"

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.

During one battle, the French captured a British colonel.

They took him to their headquarters, and the French general began to question him.

Finally, as an afterthought, the French general asked, "Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"

In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed the general that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are wounded, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day forward, all French army officers wear brown trousers.